The gods...

they have a funny sense of humor, those guys. So I decided to read an interviewing book I had picked up at the library last weekend. No, I didn't have an interview then, just thinking positively. Felt rather prepared for any of 101 different interview questions (that was the name of the book). Went in to the prison - Jester IV - for the interview, and was told I'd be interviewing with two of the head docs and that it was a CLINICAL INTERVIEW. Yes, I just shouted.

Now, don't get me wrong, I think I'm a pretty good clinician. Just a rusty one. These docs had a list of questions to ask me about different diagnoses and even had a scratch paper and pencil ready for me to make notes if I needed. No, I didn't need those. But the very first question threw me. You want to know what that little beauty was?

"Name three mood disorders and describe diagnostic criteria for each one."

Three? For the life of me I could only think of the two most obvious ones. They gave me time to think and waited with their pens in hand (they WERE taking notes). Finally we skipped that one. After several more clinical questions we came back to that one. I finally came up with dys - something. So I start sounding out words like the folks on Wheel of Fortune do. I came up with Dysmorphic Disorder. No, that's not right. Then, Dysmenorrhea. Uh-uh. So the docs try to help, saying, yes, the dys part is right. They take turns saying, dys... to me. I still drew a blank. They gave hints. The disorder less than Major Depressive Disorder. Uh-uh. The disorder that's less that Bipolar. Nope. Finally, one said, well, do you know what the disorder is, even if you can't name it? Yep. So I proceded to describe (appropriately) one of the current disorders. Do my clinical friends out there know what the other two were?

Cyclothymia and Dysthymia.

Yep.

But I did get one question right that the docs said no one in 12 years got right. I needed that. The question was, if a person presents with hallucinations and or delusions, what 3 diagnoses would you consider? I chose bipolar, schizophrenia, and substance abuse. I felt pretty good about those until the doc asks me to explain why I chose the last one. I explained, holding my breath when I got finished. Finally she says that no one else ever got substance abuse right. Yea me!

Anyway, I qualified for a second interview - at the facility itself. That one's got to be easier.

I feel okay about going back to counseling. Maybe that's why I haven't got anywhere with research jobs. Who knows? I just know I want to work. In my profession would be great.