I learned today that we call anything outside prison, "the world." I learned a lot of other things today that I'm not yet ready to discuss. If ever. Tomorrow promises more of the same. Then two days of electronic data capture training. I won't even get to my unit until sometime next week. My "unit" refers to the prison I'm assigned to. As opposed to my world. Or something like that.
It's exciting to have a job and a paycheck coming. Also exciting to have benefits for the first time in a looonng time. And I'll get used to life behind bars. Tomorrow I learn what happens if I'm taken hostage. I think the entire lesson can probably be summed up as, "you're screwed."
They keep asking us if we're scared yet. If we're coming back. They don't know scared. Try wondering how you're gonna pay the rent and put food on the table for your family. That's scary. Maybe I should teach a class on how to pray your way to survival. Other class topics:
How to hide your car from the repo guys (Lessons in making a car disappear)
How to apply for and actually receive food stamps (Persistent Groveling)
Stretching your food shopping dollar (Use at least 2 coupons for the same item, shop late at night when the clerks are young, inexperienced, and hopefully a little wasted)
Avoiding Eviction (get your landlord into a lengthy conversation on the day she had planned to file evictions - she misses the deadline, repeat as necessary)
Entertaining the Kids (Attend every free event no matter how boring until they beg to just stay home and watch TV)
Yeah, and they think prison is scary...
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3 comments:
Yes, the world can be a mean and scary place. Here's to survival!
That stuff would make a great book!
I love the one about entertaining the kids... You know, people say it's important to keep a sense of humor but it really is true. Where would we be without it?
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